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You Can't Have Everything

From my old blog:

This will not be a negative post.

I am feeling very, very poetic and nostalgic. When was my first blog post? I wonder, if I were to read back on everything that I've ever written - will I be laughing at the end? Or will I be utterly disgusted by my lack of maturity and constant emotional flip outs back then? If it weren't for the vast blogosphere, my languages would not have been as powerful as they are now. But perhaps 'powerful' isn't the most suitable word, they're only decent, I guess.

My days in high school are numbered. I thought I would feel upset but I was so wrong, because excitement and delight is all I feel at this very moment. I don't think I'll have any regrets leaving the school. This year was indeed my best year. Each day granted me an opportunity to grow and learn and become a better person. Though mistakes are still inevitable. Apparently the downsides of life has taught me to always be optimistic. And that really helped a lot.

I would go on and on about how much I've been through and felt this year but hey, who wants to get emotional?

Yes, you can't have everything in your hands. Things come one at a time. The best way to acquire the best of everything you have is to grasp them at the right moment and unleash their full potential. How? Well I don't really know, I'm still learning. I believe when the time comes everything will fall into place like I always say. Worrying is superfluous. It only makes everything seem worse than it really is, and I don't need to be like that. No one does. But this is what I know: I'm going to make it through, albeit arduous.

How very small, we are in the world. It's ironic that 'I want the world' will always remain a dream, a lucid fantasy. To hold the entire universe in your palm? That hardly seems possible. But this is me, fantasizing and imagining and still way too attached to every science fiction I've read. I still do that sometimes, even if I know now isn't the best time to be creating alter egos and hidden sanctuaries.

I'm holding on to my hopes. I'll survive this ordeal, without a single doubt.

14th October 2012.

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