Don't Blink 2.0

You told me You could see galaxies spiraling in my eyes that I was the silver trail of moonlight in your darkest night. I tore my walls down and grew a garden that bloomed into vivid colours so we could dance among the flowers. Heaven once felt so seamless until it began to crack and all the stars we counted faded into black. It's funny how when you're sprawled helplessly on the ground gasping for air the deafening silence sets in; you can hear your heart shatter and your soul dissolves into the bloody red mess that is you.

I wish the echoes would stop ringing. In my mind. In my mind. My mind. Nothing escapes the labyrinth of these tangled emotions. There is no way out. No way out. Does the pain ever leave? Not at all. Not at all.

This numbness again the wound in your conscience when it hurts so much you don't want to feel anymore. I am everywhere in the stale air you breathe. I will gnaw at your bones and never let go.  Because I'm a tumour. Deeper, and deeper I will grow until I kill you.

My dear sweet enigma, Just when I thought I knew you like the back of my hand, you continue to surprise me. You never cease to astonish me with your adorable quirkiness. I love you - my happiness, my tender moonlight. Happy Valentine's Day.

Sometimes I am calm like the first ray of sunlight at dawn shimmering upon the sea. And sometimes, when I am not I am   a raging tempest tearing shores apart I am an earthquake  still and cold as I watch them crumble to dust I am the devouring fire from a dragon's breath searing the night, and lighting up the sky  - a burning red. I am the burn  that lingers in your eyes when you wake up  from crying yourself to sleep; The throbbing pain in your head from losing count of Jamesons you drowned in. Sometimes I am calm but sometimes, when I'm not - nessun dorma.

My bones ache In your absence. My fingers hurt From being clenched around pillows That I wish were you. I'd wake up everyday Two hundred miles away from your kisses huddle in bed and miss you more. I wish you were here Arms around me Stroking my hair While I gaze into your eyes And feel my lungs burn. I miss you, I miss you With every breath With every single beat of my heart.

   It all still seems so surreal like a dream your breath in my ear your skin against mine our fingers perfectly intertwined and when our eyes meet the galaxies cease to spin. And at that very moment, my darling, we  are infinite.

I'm okay. I'm not stuck to my seat all day cramming too much irrelevant crap into my collapsing cranium. I'm okay. my scapula does not hurt from bearing over my humerus weights of fear and unprecedented woes. There's a noose around my neck too close for comfort and my body hangs by a single thread. And yet, my knees are still intact my vertebrae straight as I stand and my ribs aren't broken although my lungs burn bit by bit, with every passing second. Still, I'm okay. Because really, I could be  feeling a lot worse.

I think I've finally taken these masks That I've been wearing for too long off. And for once In a very long time I have never felt quite prettier. Thank you.

There were nights when thunder bellowed through the windows and raindrops fell like silver coated darts she sat in bed, covers drawn lost in thought. There were nights when the shadows stirred nostalgia seeped through the ceilings and cascade  down the bedroom walls. Her nightmares haunted ghosts from her grotesque past faces she vowed to never see again. She would wake up  her screams echoing the room darkness fills her lungs limbs, too painful to move. Outside, street lights would not stop flickering the stars  were nowhere to be seen. And the night sky  a phantom black looming over her scars would soon devour her heart.

Failed attempts and contemplation disarray of thoughts the pen awaits the warmth of a grip the parchment lays alone and bare. You shall not, you shall never, The hissing wind singes my mind a gelid tone that stings my spine, and I tremble - compelled to cower, too terrified to blink. But hopes are merely hopes void, forever, of sense and prudence yet clad in appalling nescience benighted souls look for their insignificant dreams. So through meandering thoughts I shall wade when I let my curtains down and unnamed ghouls aimlessly wander  down the silent boulevard.

"Caress the one, the never fading rain in your heart - the tears of snow white sorrow Caress the one, the hiding amaranth in the land of the daybreak..." Too often, I do not remember that I am on my own Cocooned in unending doubt hanging to a soul woven with  bitter irony. Often, Faces would overwhelm me strangling me, until I am out of breath. Then I remember to breathe again when I'm alone. Sometimes, I hear the ocean - Sea foam strumming the shoreline A lulling, bittersweet symphony. But In this labyrinth of thoughts where emotions engulf at every turn, Never have I tried to run. And I will never, ever know why I would not set myself free.

The night is a canvas turbulence, the safflower oil you were the abyss I fell into; the echoes beneath the soil. I have lost my mind searching for you in the cold, musty dark I have longed for your touch the tingling warmth that would deftly heal my scars. Who are you? my blemishes fade, my unbearable flaws  stroked away by your brush I am new, and now I am yours. Are you van Gogh? or are you Munch? my skin quivers; the silver clair de lune but I will only have you if you're sweeter than my solitude.

1 Let them stare, s he thought to herself. She could feel the burn down her spine everywhere she turned. There would be skeptical looks from behind, people leaning into each others' ears pretending they're not trying to get a glimpse of this oddity. But she didn't care. She couldn't hear them and she surely didn't want to. All she needed was her headphones, her favourite playlist, and her secret sanctuary. 2 That morning was strangely sunny, in fact, a little too pleasant for her liking. The kind of weather where girls of her age would slip into their lovely little sundresses habitually and sit in the park. They would tell each other about all the cute boys who passed their hallways yesterday, who they could remember their last names as well as their first. Anna, 15, still in her silk black night gown, still groggy from waking up halfway through a dream (and mind you, it was a nice one). She shifted from her usual routine, turning into the porch - inst...

I  have reached the point in my life where  I feel nothing but bleakness. Waking up  to screeching alarms and staring into the mirror at an estranged, deformed reflection. Silently trudging  amid the hustling crowd where no one would notice  I would be just the way I want to be. I breathe in meticulously not to make a single sound. I watch the world drift by brushing my skin. As I  remain still and solitary in this  ever moving world. P.S. Happy Birthday Ken, Happy Birthday cw.

2 years ago. From Sheryl, Shuen, Cheeyi and David. If you guys are by any chance reading this, thank you, I love it. Feet dangling in turquoise blue And the late autumn chill comes sifting down Bites, nips at her ankles like little fish. She looks out to the sea, where all Are in their sluggish dreams, dripping with honey lethargy All but the lone seagull who Kept screeching like a blithering idiot Until, tired of the monotony, flies away And silence settles like a heavy blanket. Sunlight gathers in her lap Glittering shards of crystal The tingling warmth A silent companion for her eternal bliss.

We were walking down the street, now in the depth of winter, covered in snow. You were almost too confident, brushing your shoes on the thick coat of snow as my sight diverged. Anxiety trailed along a thin streak of tear that rolled down my face, and then I lowered my head just to hide it away from you. Our footsteps seemed surreal. Have we walked so far just to part? Why am I always the one who stands and wave? Why does everyone turn away from me? P.S. This was written such a long time ago I forgot what triggered me. I previously thought departing would be easy, when I had nothing to hold on to, and I wanted so badly to leave. Don't get me wrong, I still want it desperately, but would my departure make an impact? Would things still remain the same when I return? C'est la vie. I say, you'll never know if you never try.