Don't Blink 2.0

Discovered this little personality test, took me twenty five minutes to finish all 100 questions on the questionaire. I would say it's fairly accurate, judging by my results I seem to possess a moderate amount of every trait. I don't know if it's a bad thing or a good thing. But I definitely need to work on managing stress and yeah, be more patient (although I wouldn't want to take the odds on this one). Oh yes my poor persuasiveness, too. Nonetheless the test was well worth the time, everyone go try!

I've always felt like I'm constantly standing on a brink, a verge of life that determines my ultimate fate. Who I choose to become, the decisions I make, the principles that I uphold would greatly alter my course. And I keep reminding myself to be extra cautious. This is the problem, now:  I don't know who I am.  I have lived through 19 years trying to figure out what purpose I serve and where exactly I belong. All this while, am I making correct choices or am I just too blinded to realise my mistakes? I'm lost, I admit. I cry myself to sleep every night, and wake up just as troubled. It doesn't change. I have so many flaws that I try to fix everyday but they never seem to heal, so many broken pieces that I try to mend but they won't fall into place. I just keep falling apart, falling apart, falling apart. Nothing ever changes. But I believe in perfection. Always have, always will. I believe humans are continuously in search of a perfect place. A s...

But worry about courage, worry about cleanliness, worry about efficiency,  worry about horsemanship. 

1 Let them stare, s he thought to herself. She could feel the burn down her spine everywhere she turned. There would be skeptical looks from behind, people leaning into each others' ears pretending they're not trying to get a glimpse of this oddity. But she didn't care. She couldn't hear them and she surely didn't want to. All she needed was her headphones, her favourite playlist, and her secret sanctuary. 2 That morning was strangely sunny, in fact, a little too pleasant for her liking. The kind of weather where girls of her age would slip into their lovely little sundresses habitually and sit in the park. They would tell each other about all the cute boys who passed their hallways yesterday, who they could remember their last names as well as their first. Anna, 15, still in her silk black night gown, still groggy from waking up halfway through a dream (and mind you, it was a nice one). She shifted from her usual routine, turning into the porch - inst...

Albert Einstein   — ' Out of clutter ,  find simplicity . From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.' P.S. Last minute prayers and silly vows won't help now. May Lady Athena be with me.

I  have reached the point in my life where  I feel nothing but bleakness. Waking up  to screeching alarms and staring into the mirror at an estranged, deformed reflection. Silently trudging  amid the hustling crowd where no one would notice  I would be just the way I want to be. I breathe in meticulously not to make a single sound. I watch the world drift by brushing my skin. As I  remain still and solitary in this  ever moving world. P.S. Happy Birthday Ken, Happy Birthday cw.

Thoughts gathered over the week. (This post is completely irrelevant, I just keep getting an urge to update.) 1. The thing about people, is that they regret.  How many times have you said 'what the heck, fuck this' just to do something that you know isn't worth your time? Why regret when you could've actually done something to make sure things fall into the right place? When they didn't, you desperately search for excuses to cover up the mess you've made. You tell the world that you regret. Why regret, when you should know this is what you deserve? It's high time I start putting effort into my goals. Let others be my guide, my reminder that nothing comes free. Give and take. The more you give, the more you reap. Shuning, stay focused! 2. Trust is the most fragile thing ever. Some of us had to learn it the hard way. To have your heart smashed on the floor, shattered, and then you're expected to pick yourself up. I thought it was cruel t...