Of Bones and Blight

I'm okay.

I'm not stuck to my seat all day

cramming too much

irrelevant crap

into my collapsing cranium.

I'm okay.

my scapula does not hurt

from bearing

over my humerus

weights of fear and unprecedented woes.

There's a noose

around my neck
too close for comfort

and my body hangs by a single thread.

And yet,

my knees are still intact

my vertebrae straight as I stand

and my ribs aren't broken

although my lungs burn

bit by bit, with every passing second.

Still, I'm okay.

Because really,

I could be

feeling
a lot worse.

Comments

Yayasan Khazanah: First & Second Stage

Undeniably, scholarships and I tend to have rather... complicated relationships. The first one I applied for (and a quite prestigious one for heaven's sake) didn't qualify because reckless little me missed out one of the application procedures. I'm still beating myself up for that. And then there was Taylor's Principal Awards where I was awarded with 10 thousand MYR worth of tuition wee waiver for selected Pre-University Courses. Considering my current financial abilities, I turned it down because as honoured as I am to be holding a TPA, the remaining uncovered fees (not to mention living costs) were still far from what my family could afford. I didn't get the PETRONAS scholarship, neither did I make it to the 3rd stage of Yayasan Khazanah (YK). I say, failures are a sign of you're getting closer to what you want, so let's rejoice. Back to where I started, I was about to write about what I've learned during the interview processes of YK - Stag...

BGF Youth Connection Session

Things you dislike about yourself: 1. I put too much pressure on myself 2. My expectations are too high 3. I can't manage my emotions well 4. I have an unhealthy tendency to belittle myself Things I love about myself: 1. I am disciplined 2. I try as much as I can to stay optimistic 3. Sometimes, I'm just plain awesome Things I did today that are positive: 1. Met new people 2. Reunited with high school friends 3. Enjoyed the YCS session 4. Had some really good almond cake Positive things that you see in others: 1. Positivity 2. Ability to cope well with studies 3. Confidence 4. Skillfulness 5. Effective self-management YCS was really good and I'm glad I accepted the invitation. Ending this with something I learned today: ALL, is well.

Yet Another Door Opens

It has been an awful long while since the last time I found myself sitting in front of my laptop, wanting nothing else but some peace and alone time. All this while I've been occupied, physically and mentally, so much that letting myself sink into thoughts seemed like a little too much to ask for. Right now less than 24 hours before I get on a plane and embark on a journey unknown, words are flowing, thoughts that I haven't had much time for are slowly resurfacing - all I feel is restless. As cliche as it gets, you can't help yourself from looking back when you've come so far. And I have come so far. Anyone who has been through a dark phase in their lives and subsequently managed to pull themselves together and emerge as a better person would understand this: no matter how many times it seems like it's raining stones upon us, we're never really broken. Every time we hit the ground hard we grow an inch taller, readier to stand and face whatever's in our w...

Don't Blink 2.0

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