Skip to main content

53

Swipe to unlock, I read in my head as my thumb strokes across the slightly scratched surface of the phone. Well placed right below the time display on my home screen, is a countdown widget. It was there since three weeks ago, when I realized how little time I have left until trials, and ever since my semester break ended I swore over a few times that I would put more effort into my work this semester. I would not disappoint myself and people who expect something of me. If I did it once, I can do it again.


But look at me now. Procrastinating every minute, every second of the day; letting time go to waste. I couldn't hate myself any more right now.

So this is it. I'm ending this because I'm done with slacking. Yes, I apologize to myself for the incompetence I displayed for the previous weeks and I shall be motivated once again. Trials are 53 days away. No time is to be wasted, this is an oath.

Determination and discipline can work wonders. 

Back to my regular college routine it is. Get out of bed, on to the bus, then to classes, back to the bus stop, and back to my cozy hostel room. Repeating this every other depressing day, but I'll make the best out of it. No more emotional flip-outs, no more attachments, only me and a single goal ahead of me. I swear on river styx, I will make myself proud.

May my following days be productive and fruitful. May Athena always be with me.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Yayasan Khazanah: First & Second Stage

Undeniably, scholarships and I tend to have rather... complicated relationships. The first one I applied for (and a quite prestigious one for heaven's sake) didn't qualify because reckless little me missed out one of the application procedures. I'm still beating myself up for that. And then there was Taylor's Principal Awards where I was awarded with 10 thousand MYR worth of tuition wee waiver for selected Pre-University Courses. Considering my current financial abilities, I turned it down because as honoured as I am to be holding a TPA, the remaining uncovered fees (not to mention living costs) were still far from what my family could afford. I didn't get the PETRONAS scholarship, neither did I make it to the 3rd stage of Yayasan Khazanah (YK). I say, failures are a sign of you're getting closer to what you want, so let's rejoice.  Back to where I started, I was about to write about what I've learned during the interview processes of YK - Stag...

BGF Youth Connection Session

Things you dislike about yourself: 1. I put too much pressure on myself 2. My expectations are too high 3. I can't manage my emotions well 4. I have an  unhealthy tendency to belittle myself Things I love about myself:  1. I am disciplined 2. I try as much as I can to stay optimistic 3. Sometimes, I'm just plain awesome Things I did today that are positive: 1. Met new people 2. Reunited with high school friends 3. Enjoyed the YCS session 4. Had some really good almond cake Positive things that you see in others:  1. Positivity 2. Ability to cope well with studies 3. Confidence 4. Skillfulness 5. Effective self-management YCS was really good and I'm glad I accepted the invitation. Ending this with something I learned today:  ALL, is well. 

Yet Another Door Opens

It has been an awful long while since the last time I found myself sitting in front of my laptop, wanting nothing else but some peace and alone time. All this while I've been occupied, physically and mentally, so much that letting myself sink into thoughts seemed like a little too much to ask for. Right now less than 24 hours before I get on a plane and embark on a journey unknown, words are flowing, thoughts that I haven't had much time for are slowly resurfacing - all I feel is restless. As cliche as it gets, you can't help yourself from looking back when you've come so far. And I have come so far. Anyone who has been through a dark phase in their lives and subsequently managed to pull themselves together and emerge as a better person would understand this: no matter how many times it seems like it's raining stones upon us, we're never really broken. Every time we hit the ground hard we grow an inch taller, readier to stand and face whatever's in our w...