Don't Blink 2.0

 We all know this day was going to come. Three weeks of mindless cramming, a month of disorganized sleep cycles and study tables, and it all comes down to this one day. Working has managed to put my mind off of the cruel grasp of reality for a while, yet it's all coming back now. I'm terrified, devastated, and psyched all at the same time. I guess that's the thing about us Geminis, our forever messy thoughts. What if I don't get what I deserve? What if I can't handle the truth? I didn't do my best. I was being the over-confident jerk like I have always been. Patience? I have none.  I'm always uncertain of the next step. I just wish that day would come faster. I'm tired of guessing and waiting and torturing myself. The wait is devouring me, pieces by pieces, in and out.

There are many things that make dead bodies preferable to live ones: They don't have facial expressions, so there's no worry about mistaking a smile for a smirk, or any of that nonsense. They don't get bored if you're hogging the conversation. They don't care if you stand too close of too far away. They don't talk about you when you leave the room, or tell their friends how annoying you are. P.S. In my case, machinery. - If I know I feel it, that's what counts. Don't you ever look at someone who's hysterical in public and wonder if it's because they really feel miserable or because they want others to know they're miserable? It kinda dilutes the emotion if you display it for the whole world to see. - Jacob Hunt

I was eleven, fifth grade.  He was still alive and well, as fit as he could ever be. He had a lovely family, a beautiful son they'd just welcomed. It was that festive time of the year again and so we would visit. It was an annual thing ever since the boy was born. At the airport, their faces when they finally meet again made me envious. He was thirty. That night, fireworks rose from the garden. I was only a few feet away, staring right at the empty can of coke they used as a stand. A lighted matchstick went near the tip of a firecracker stick, and instantly sparks flew. The cracker made a sound as it shot upwards and into the distant darkness, then bright lights danced across the sky. It was amazing and I was amazed. The night sky came to life for the first time in my life. The light patterns were far more different and realistic than what I've seen before on television shows. I was too little to comprehend what the adults were discussing about amidst t...

Being as unbiased as I could ever possibly be, I have to ask: Isn't it only right if manners work both ways?    I don't understand my parents.  I don't mean it in a rebellious way, but it's so true. I do not comprehend their emotions, I can't translate their anger into sense, I can't put myself in their shoes and live in their thoughts. Trust me, I've tried. And tried. And tried again. Take the following as an example: Me: (asking cautiously) Hey mom, are you kinda - going to be free after the haircut this weekend? Her: (Looking at me cynically) Didn't you just tell me you wanted to shop? I thought we agreed on that? Me: Yeah, exactly. I was thinking of heading over to*name of a mall*. Can I? Her: (tone raised) No. I've got grocery shopping to do. We're going to the market. (turns and walks away) Me: WHAT? Really, I can't imagine how I'd live with this everyday. It's unnerving. I can be entirely myself in front of m...

"One," she spoke aloud to herself as she had the day she defeated the Jabberwocky , "there is a potion that can make you shrink." "Two: there is cake that can make you grow." She paused briefly, details of her adventure had been ebbed away in the time she had returned, and only came to her in sleep. She tried to make herself remember what came next. "Three," she hesitated, "Animals can talk." "Four, cats can disappear." She felt a bit more confident now. After remembering four, the last two couldn't possibly be too difficult. "Five, there is a place called Wonderland," she paused briefly, glancing at her reflection in a looking glass, "and number six, I can slay the Jabberwocky!"

The title perfectly describes my time away from the blogosphere. For some reasons I seem to be blogging lesser day by day. It might be the lack of inspiration, or lack of motivation. But as if I didn't know this day would come any sooner. And to think that I used to blog everyday some 4 years ago, hmm, must have been way too bored then. I would absolutely be lying if I make a stupid promise again that I'll blog more frequently, yada yada yada. So I'm just going to say, I hope inspiration strikes me soon enough to let me blog like I used to. 'Though my initial plans to improve my vocabulary were seemingly (temporarily) put off, all thanks to my rather packed schedule and endless list of to-dos. I mean, come on, it's Chinese New Year season - I've got shopping to do. Speaking of which, isn't it time to spring clean my room already? Lately (as in since SPM ended) I've been eliminating loads and loads of rubbish collected over my innocent , okay, IGNOR...

Stepping into the 18th year of my life is frightening yet exciting.  I know it will be. 2013 is a huge turning point, and like all other challenges I've faced, I'm going to greet it with a big smile. I can't wait for the surprises along the way, can't wait to see what life has in store for me in a brand new life. I'm excited about the variety of people I'll meet, and things I'll be able to learn from my mistakes. One more thing, I hope what I'll go through this year doesn't change who I am. I'm content with who I am now. May the past be left behind, may only the good times stay forever, may the future shower me with glorious victories. MMXIII, I am born anew!