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Troubled

Being as unbiased as I could ever possibly be, I have to ask: Isn't it only right if manners work both ways? 
 I don't understand my parents. 

I don't mean it in a rebellious way, but it's so true. I do not comprehend their emotions, I can't translate their anger into sense, I can't put myself in their shoes and live in their thoughts. Trust me, I've tried. And tried. And tried again. Take the following as an example:

Me: (asking cautiously) Hey mom, are you kinda - going to be free after the haircut this weekend?
Her: (Looking at me cynically) Didn't you just tell me you wanted to shop? I thought we agreed on that?
Me: Yeah, exactly. I was thinking of heading over to*name of a mall*. Can I?
Her: (tone raised) No. I've got grocery shopping to do. We're going to the market. (turns and walks away)
Me: WHAT?

Really, I can't imagine how I'd live with this everyday.

It's unnerving. I can be entirely myself in front of my friends, but with my family I am a different person. Speaking with extra caution, taking everything too seriously, easily offended, constantly aware of their sarcastic/cynical glances at me. This isn't working out for me. And then I start to wonder if I'm the only one who has to go through these.

From my point of view, manners work both ways. Simple fact, if you're nice to me, I'll be nicer to you. It doesn't matter if you're a friend or a family member, because it's all the same to me. When you start showing me respect, I'll understand that you deserve it too. And just because you're older doesn't mean you can just throw me around like trash. I'm human, flesh and blood for God's sake. I kinda have genuine feelings and perspectives of my own that I would really appreciate if you would start respecting them.

I have a clear conscience, as your child I would give my best to you. yes, I was once rebellious, obnoxious, disrespectful - but that was long before I came to my senses. When I walked out, I wasn't the same, maybe much more different that what you molded me into or expected me to be. But I'm me, now. And I thought you would've known me better than this. I suck at flattery, so forgive my bluntness. But I do respect you, always have, always will.

Keep that in mind.

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