Skip to main content

Sorry

You know you screwed up when you look into his eyes and see nothing but disappointment.

The moment he stands up and walks out the door, you feel a wave of guilt and void hit you right in the face. The realization that all you've ever done is drive everyone else away from you and when someone offers to care for you unconditionally, you whimper and cower away.

I held on to the thought that we're different from the rest. That we're perfect for each other because we compliment each others' flaws. Where I was insecure and worried, you are the radiant pillar of strength that I would draw confidence and comfort from. You have always managed to fill the emptiness in me, and I felt so complete. You are the perfect, beautiful soul that you are, when I have countless of flaws that needed fixing. All I needed was for you to be patient. Little did I know that this bliss would be short-lived, and distance is the single most painful thing to endure when you love someone this much.

All I've ever wanted to be is perfect. All I ever was was not enough. No matter how hard I try I can only manage to take tiny steps and even so they still mean something to me. It means I have not stopped. I hope someone sees it. And I will keep trying and trying until I don't disappoint anyone anymore.

Forgetting about you is not an option.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

You

You told me You could see galaxies spiraling in my eyes that I was the silver trail of moonlight in your darkest night. I tore my walls down and grew a garden that bloomed into vivid colours so we could dance among the flowers. Heaven once felt so seamless until it began to crack and all the stars we counted faded into black. It's funny how when you're sprawled helplessly on the ground gasping for air the deafening silence sets in; you can hear your heart shatter and your soul dissolves into the bloody red mess that is you.

Head In The Clouds

I had a feeling September was going to be pretty awesome.  And I guess it really is. :)

Looking Back: 2014

It's kinda funny when I look back on all my previous New Year posts. I'd list things that I would do throughout the year, and then live another 12 months to realise that I failed miserably again and again. So yeah, well, no more resolutions this time. 2014 was one of its kind, a simple and uneventful one. It wasn't phenomenal or fun-filled; but it wasn't all dark and depressing either. It came all too fast, and now it's gone in a blink. A few things to remember and to be thankful for: 1307 G13 - Peepul I have honestly never been in a class with people who are so different from each other, and I slowly came to appreciate how even though we're different, we stuck together from the beginning to the end. That alone, is amazing. Put the oddest bunch of kids together for a year and a half, I promise you'll be surprised. Also not to mention, Langkawi Class Trip!!! CAL Prom Night: Regalias My first prom ever! Spent a bomb but it w...